Naruto the Wanderer
by Zhelezo
Summary: Naruto/Rick and Morty crossover. Naruto main character. Naruto learns he has the unique ability to wander through dimensions. After a parting warning from Rick Sanchez, who is currently trapped in community service to a universe ruling gang of hippie magicians, he must learn to fight against the other Naruto's who pose a threat to him. Romance? Lemons? Maybe in later chapters.


You ever finish watching a show, and realize there aren't any more episodes? So you're like, HOLY SHIT NOOOOOOOOO, screaming at the sky, when you realize you want to watch something else?

Something with butt hamsters, and Abradolf Lincler, and suddenly you realize Rick and Morty might just be the greatest show ever to exist, and now you can't even remember the show you're watching?

Yeah, me neither. Enjoy the story!

Sometimes, your day is normal. You wake up, do stuff, eat, sleep, and suddenly its the next day. The day comes and goes, blending in with hundreds like it. Some might call it a "lazy day" others simply refer to it as "boring".

Naruto wished that it was one of those days.

"So… who are you?"

"Listen kid, *burp* I've talked to thirty six you's today, and every one of them asked that same stupid question. So to answer you're next three questions, No, Yes, and No, they will never let you back in. Or, if this is one of the universes where your thought process is marginally different; *burp* Bombs beneath the capital, an erupting volcano, and the sweet spot, left of the spine, fourth lumbar down. In order of descending probability. Done with your stupid little questions? Too bad."

Yeah… boring was good. Boring was nice. He liked boring! Nothing about this was normal! Nothing like this was supposed to happen. Glowing green portals weren't supposed to interrupt your training montage. People weren't supposed to appear out of glowing green portals. They weren't supposed to respond to an honest question so rudely, not when the question was fair to begin with.

Naruto folded his arms across his chest. "You didn't answer my question." Beneath the sleeves off his orange jumpsuit, he fingered the edge of a kunai, drawing a slim bead of blood. In the world of ninja, elaborate entrances usually meant an exotic distraction. A genjutsu could hit at any moment, the only indication of an impending attack.

"Ugh, jeez kid. *Burp*" A small red light started to flicker, and for the first time Naruto realized that the old man was wearing an elaborate collar with all kinds of wiring across it. Almost an inch wide, the wires around it were dull-grey, slightly lighter than the collar. The only non-grey part of the collar was a previously clear-white disc the size of a thumbnail, which was now flashing a bright ruby red. "Lousy bureaucrats. Look, my name is Rick Sanchez, alias Rick C137. Anything else you little bastard? Want me to tell you the fucking future too?"

Naruto's next question was obvious, even as his mind reeled, struggling with all that had happened. "Why are you here?"

Ricks response was equally obvious. "Because my parents did the nasty in a public toilet. Because God hates a smart man, *burp* But not as much as a bureaucrat does. Because the council of Ricks delegated my sentence to community service and with the society of wandering mystics. *Burp* Who are, before you ask, the single dumbest, most insanely stupid, hippie, tree-hugging, bush-fucking, gang of wizards ever to dump a charitable load of bullshit on the universe. Bastards even confiscated my *burp* Morty. Thats why."

Naruto deadpanned, this guy didn't tell him anything! "Answer my question, you old bastard!"

The disk in the collar's center began to flash again. Rick gave an angry huff. "Yeah yeah kid, I'm getting there. So *burp* like, you're a Naruto. But you aren't THE Naruto. You're one of infinite, floating through the multiverse. Thats a collection of all the different universes, stuck under one stupidly simple title. And yeah, there's a lot of universes. Basically one for every decision anyone ever mad, times a million. Blows your simple fucking mind *burp* huh?" He slid out a small metal flask, drinking from it. "Now, the Society of Wandering Mystics feels obligated to tell you about your unique biology. *Burp* You see kid, about one in every billion universes are 'mystical' where weird shit happens all over the place, that science can study, but not understand. The SWM rules over these, keeping them safe from outside influence. In SOME of these *burp* people like you show up. People with some innate magical bullshit in your blood, that lets you access these."

He pulled out a small silver box with a handle, and a glowing green tube sticking out of the top. Rick Sanchez aimed it at a tree and fired, creating a green portal. "Through that portal, sits a parallel universe. One eerily similar to yours, but different. Of all the Naruto's out there, less than 1% of 1% can create those portals. In the mystical universes, almost 1 in every billion people can walk through universes. Congratu-fucking-lations. *burp* I'm going on this stupid charity mission, telling you, and all the fuckwads like you, that your copies are coming for you. In these mystical realms, you can get stronger by absorbing the magic of your parallel copies. This kills them, but gives you their power. Win-win huh? So yeah, you and the other dipshits I talked to today, probably dead in a week. But hey! Not my problem! Have fun, I've got more you's to talk to. And one is enough to make me want to splatter my brains across the spectroverse."

Heading for the portal, Rick stopped as his collars crimson disc started flashing red again. "Oh fuck. Kid, you've got like… Five minutes left. You got one question. Make it good."

Wow. Naruto froze. This was… a lot to take in. Too much. He wished he was writing things down. Or even had the tools for it. His mind wasn't the best at random numbers and facts anyways, so this downpour of information… Was like trying to catch a thunderstorm in a thimble. He barely understood the important points. What was he supposed to ask?! He didn't understand half of this already!

Naruto tripped over his words as he spoke, still trying to comprehend all that was going on, but also trying to ask his question quickly enough that he'd get a full answer. "Uhm, er…. You see, well. Like…"

"Clocks ticking kid. *burp* Now hurry it up, I might be stuck here, but that's only temporary."

"W-well… Like…. uhm…" So much rested on this question! What was he supposed to ask!? Struggling to comprehend what he'd heard in a meaningful way, the next words spilled out unintentionally. "How do I become strong?!"

"Hah! That's easy *burp* brat. Outsmart your enemies, don't trust anyone who thinks they're powerful, and never tie yourself down. Do those three, and you're unstoppable. But sooner or later in this vast multiverse, one of those always happens. That's why I'm here. Later kid, good luck surviving."

He turned for the portal again, when that little disk shimmered again. "Oh great, what does this thing want now?! *burp* Look, I answered his stupid questions! Can I go now?" It flashed again, and a jolt of electricity ran across the wires. "Grrrgh!" Rick fell to his knees, gritting his teeth in pain. Seconds later, the shock let up. Rick stood on shaking knees, fortunately hidden from the kid by his long white lab coat, heavier on the right side than the left.

"Right. Stupid bureaucrats. Tell me next time!" He pulled a notebook out of his pocket, tossing it to the ground at Naruto's feet. "Look kid, its been real *burp* but I got like, 372 more of these things before my sentence is over. So have fun. Try not to die. Wubba lubba dub dub! Rick, out!" Then Rick C137 vanished through the portal.

Naruto was left there, standing, staring, eyes drawn to the vanished portal and the notebook on the ground. "What. The. Fuck."

….…

Well. That was something.

Naruto wandered back into his apartment, looking for all the world like a hurricane survivor. Or a soldier trapped in the madness of PTSD. He held the little notebook in his hands, absentmindedly brushing away dirt when all the dirt had been brushed off twenty minutes prior, after he first picked it up.

Its blue cover, devoid of lettering, gave a false impression of insignificance to those walking past. A kid with a spiral-bound notebook was nothing new. Nothing of note. Not in a world where Ninja ran across rooftops, shouting the occasional joke about public transportation. A world where one of the villages greatest warriors was a man in green spandex.

A merchant jostled him aside, busy rushing to the village square with a fresh cart of fruit. Naruto stumbled in his step, but didn't appear to even notice what happened. The boy stopped walking seconds later, standing completely still.

Inside his mind, gears were slowly turning. Very slowly. Naruto looked at the notebook. His plan had been to rush home and start reading, but the rush part hadn't worked too well. He felt a need, slowly grinding away at his self control. An unstoppable urge to know just what was in that notebook.

But even he knew that opening it in public was just asking for trouble. If he told anyone the story of his day, they'd have him in an asylum before he could say "Wubba lubba dub dub" Speaking of which, the blonde mused in confusion, what the hell did that even mean?!

Naruto turned down the first alley he saw, crouching beneath the shade of rooftops to open the notebook. He didn't even notice the couple -probably Ninja's, as they were more prone to… enthusiastic expressions of life- quickly engaging one another behind a row of trash cans.

The cover of the notebook was just a simple sheet of blue plastic. The very epitome of nonchalance. The first page was much the same, a series of blue lines on blank paper. On the second page though, things got interesting.

"So You're A World-Walker. A Guide To Traveling The Ether. Written by Dr. Strange, Sorcerer Supreme of World DZQ-213, Albus Dumbledore, Chief Mugwump of the Wizoran Coalition of Universe D-11,111,111,116, Gandalf God-King of Mystical Arts, of C-23, and Sasuke Uchiha, the Eye of Wisdom, Universe NT-1417."

Yeah, that last name shocked him.

Evidently other universes had Sasuke's. Judging by that title, the other Sasuke's were equally pretentious. Naruto swore then and there, he would never let this universe's Sasuke find out about his copies. Never mind the other Naruto's hunting him for power, Sasuke would probably drag him along on some crazy adventure to find a tool to reverse time so he could finally destroy the smudged reputation caused by his grandfather. The Uchiha who massacred half the clan, and would likely have killed them all without the timely aid of the 2nd Hokage and his specialized bodyguard. Nobody else cared about something as silly as that tiny smudge on the otherwise pristine Uchiha honor, but the Uchiha's were known to be sticklers for such things.

On to other matters, Naruto flipped to the next page. It was just a bright red stamp across the sheet,  
"ABRIDGED FOR LOWER LIFE FORMS" Well that felt insulting. Mildly miffed, Naruto flipped to the next page.

It was titled, "Chapter 1: So You're A World-Walker" A picture showed a tiny Naruto drawing walking through a glowing green portal.

"First things first, what is a World-Walker? As the Introductor probably informed you, you are one of a select few individuals scattered through each universe with the potential to walk through worlds. Inside your body lies a powerful source of Magical energy, this energy may lie dormant for a prolonged period of time, but will eventually display itself. This may be in the form of random traveling, which can be quite dangerous to the traveler. You should always know where you are going before traveling to another world.

This power may give you glimpses of other worlds, and it will likely give you access to their codes. Access codes to universes widely differ, no two are the same. They will usually start with a Letter, then a string of numbers. Remember these codes, it is the only way to return home, or to a visited universe. Often, the closer the number and letter is to your own universe, the more similar it is. Some may be so similar you can't tell if you are home or not. Others may be strange and mysterious places, full of crazy things that don't make much sense.

Either way, remember that universe destruction is a class 5 criminal act, punishable by immediate disintegration. World destruction is a class 3 act, and if committed, you will be sentenced to a lifetime of imprisonment. Please be aware that World-Walkers are subject to the laws and regulations of any World they enter, and may be punished as the populations laws dictate.

With the introduction complete, please read on with chapter 2."

At some point the couple had left, and now Naruto continued on towards his apartment, digestion new information with each step. He was glad the information was abridged, several things mentioned were already starting to confuse him.

All he remembered after that was falling into bed, still trying to process the strange new information.

….….

Opening his eyes took an act of immense willpower. The back of his mind still rejecting the very notion of burping travelers from the future who explained truths he'd never even considered. It seemed impossible, therefore it had to be so.

The comfortable sounding delusion was shattered by the soft weight of the notebook, still clutched in his hands when he fell asleep. Proof of the prior days earth-shattering events.

Inevitably, his mind turned to the warning Rick Sanchez had given him, and many other Naruto's. There were infinite parallel worlds. There were hundreds -if not thousands- of other Narutos who would be coming for him. Rick's words echoed beneath his skull, nagging and nipping at him like the devil cat Tora.

Naruto stumbled out of bed, groggily wiping sleep from his eyes. Sure he now KNEW things. But what good did that do him? He wasn't even a decent Ninja, high Genin was the best he could manage. Chunin was still so far away… so far out of his grasp. The thought of fighting other versions of himself… Killing other versions of himself.

This was the world of Ninja. Blood dyed the hands of even the happiest face, and nobody lived to see retirement. You didn't expect to. He'd killed before. The vomit after still left a bitter tang in his throat whenever he remembered. Now he had to kill copies of him or die? It was a difficult choice to make in the safety of his apartment. On the battlefield it would be impossible.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked the bathroom mirror. No answer was forthcoming.

Naruto ran through his morning routine, shaving and showering as if on autopilot. He ate without tasting. The sun was bright as he walked back to the training grounds. It could have been pitch black for all that he noticed.

In his familiar training grounds, the teen could put aside his worries. He fell into the normalcy of training, punching and kicking the practice log. Still he was absent minded. No matter what he tried, the familiar activity only felt like a lazy placeholder. It kept his skills from rusting, sure. But he'd never become powerful punching and kicking at a slab of wood.

*CRACK* Naruto flinched as his knuckle broke.

He looked at the wooden post, now demolished to a point he never imagined he was capable of. Raw savagery had reduced the wood to warped bits and piles of toothpick sized splinters.

He looked at his hands, the knuckles skinned and bleeding, a throbbing pain in his right as the broken bone announced its displeasure.

Naruto turned from his training, heading for the hospital. A medical Ninja would have him good as new in a few minutes. Maybe then he could actually focus on improving himself.

Cradling his hand, he entered the hospital and was soon visited by a medic. A bit of hard earned money changed hands, and soon her healing chakra was knitting the bone back together, stitching flesh shut across that. The dripping blood stopped, and shortly after, the wound looked like a normal hand again.

"Thanks" Naruto offered, before heading out again. Leaving a flustered Hinata behind, trying to work up the courage to return his money.

Heading back towards the training grounds, Naruto stopped. Rick's advice on becoming powerful was echoing inside of him. He knew he wasn't a hopeless moron, on tests and such he had always done decently well. Ninja academy didn't allow for any failures of course, but Naruto was solidly middle of the pack.

His feet carried him to the front doors of the academy for potential shinobi, where teachers in all different fields could be found. They weren't advanced instructors like his Jonin sensei, but they had a broader range of variation, and more time to help students.

Naruto at least remembered to knock politely, waiting for the quiet "Come in." before he entered Iruka's office.

"Oh, Naruto? What is it?" The scarred instructor asked, setting aside the papers he had been working on. He was familiar with the blond pupil, and while never close, as a teacher he was determined to help any Ninja of the Leaf village however he could.

It had nothing to do with Naruto's status as a part of the Orphaned Shinobi program. A program which aims to assist the many orphans of a hidden village in meeting the same standard as their clan member peers. A program that Iruka had personally supported for many years, which saw fewer and fewer results each year. It had been necessary in the aftermath of the Kyuubi attack. Iruka had grown up in crowded conditions, sharing even basic tatami mats with two or three other children. The current system was never meant to handle hundreds of newly orphaned children and a crippled economy. So many of the orphans had wanted to become Ninja. To find some measure of justice for the parents they could barely remember. Iruka had been one of the top students to come from the orphanage, only to get beat down time and time again by advanced clan techniques.

No. It had nothing to do with the program which desperately needed some successful results. Nothing at all. Though Iruka's lips started to twitch upwards in the slightest of smiles when Naruto began to talk.

"It's just… I just want to become strong. I don't feel like I'm doing that right now. So many others from my class were ahead of me. If I keep up like this, I'll never beat anyone with more experience than me! You taught me a lot Iruka-sensei. Please. Teach me how to outsmart an opponent!"

This… this was new. Iruka felt the smile on his face grow. This was something he could work with.

….…

The day grew on and on, and Iruka's smile only continued to spread. Naruto was training his heart out. Pushing his body until it broke, and pushing further than that! The boy was motivated like never before.

They trained in the yard for hours, until the sun set and Naruto's dripping sweat stained the Earth. Still Naruto held the same determined look on his face, his eyes set on the future as he pushed beyond the trivial pain of now.

Twice Iruka had to call a med-nin nurse to heal Naruto's torn muscles. Three times he personally used a basic medical technique to draw out harmful lactic acid. After six hours, Naruto downed a soldier pill. With the concentrated medicine in his body, he could function for another twelve hours before sleep became advisable.

Iruka was happy to help for the duration of the pill. When he saw the eager looks of the leaving students as they watched a real ninja train himself into the ground, he knew they would be working twice as hard tomorrow.

His eyes focused on Naruto, now dancing across a three dimensional axis of wooden poles. "Now Naruto, focus! One two three one two three! Keep at it!" He flicked a rock at his new star pupil, the student dodged it with a simple shift of his head. A trio of pebbles followed it, and Naruto deflected them with his hands without missing a footstep, even as he hung upside down.

"Excellent Naruto, Excellent! Five minute break."

Naruto hit the ground like a dropped flour sack. His breathing was heavy as he sucked in much needed air. His Chakra points would ache for a weak. The best part was, Iruka hadn't introduced him to a single new exercise. He had learned the tree walking bit months ago, struggling at first like all Ninja, before getting it down in a weak.

Iruka just upped the complex awareness of surroundings and new movements. Walking not only up wood, but across and diagonally in complex systems as other obstacles were added to the equation. Naruto had fallen more than a few times. But his skills in maneuvering across unpredictable surfaces was easily on par with a Jonin.

"Alright Naruto. Do you know why you must do these routines?"

The exhausted boy struggled to shake his head.

"It is because the first step of outsmarting an opponent, is the ability to do something they can't. For example, if you were fighting me, you'd loose hands down. I've got more experience, more Jutsu, and more knowledge of the terrain. But if you could somehow lure me into the training field you use, you might gain an advantage, or simply neutralize mine. So, if you can move swiftly through pieces of wood, even while they are falling, then you can outrun even a much faster Ninja. Do you understand ?"

Naruto weakly nodded.

"Good, because the next step is even harder. If you want to outsmart an opponent who is better than you in every way, you just need to prepare something they can't possibly defend against. Just remember, they have to see, hear, or smell it to defend against it."

Iruka could tell Naruto was fuzzy on this concept, so he pulled a pair of throwing stars out of his satchel. He flicked them into the air, swiping his foot after them, kicking one of the stars into a stationary wooden target. The blade whipped through the air, striking the target with a sharp *THUNK* Iruka followed the blade, rushing the target and striking with a well placed midsection kick. When he finally stepped back from the target, Naruto could see a single line cut deep down the middle of the target.

Iruka stopped, raising his left foot. Two shiny metal throwing stars dropped from the bottom of his shoe. "Now do you see Naruto? I threw two shuriken, using the kick to launch one, even as I caught the other beneath my foot using the same chakra technique you use to walk on trees. I followed the first star with a kick, using the shuriken blade, and the precise application of chakra in a push-pull motion, to spin the throwing star like a saw. Then I simply grabbed the second star to my foot while you were incapable of seeing the metal, hidden as it was beneath my shoe."

Naruto's eyes were wide as dinner plates. "Woah! Thats so cool Iruka-sensei! Teach me!"

Iruka faced Naruto for a moment, smiling broadly. "Thats just the thing Naruto! I already taught you this. What do you think you were doing all afternoon? The trick is in the application. You have to use it only when your opponent cannot see what you are doing, or you might as well just throw the shuriken."

Iruka started walking away, already immensely proud of his temporary pupil. "So Naruto! Feel like some ramen?"

"Yea-eep!" His jubilant cheer was sharply cut off, as an even sharper shuriken whipped past his face. "When did you even draw three of those Iruka?!"

"A true Ninja looks underneath the underneath." Iruka said with a wink.

….…

A week passed quickly. Naruto trained from sunup to sundown, using soldier pills whenever he could. It trashed his sleep cycle, his internal clock, and his sense of direction. Iruka assured him it would pass after a month. Then he could use the soldier pills without any negative side effects.

Naruto had asked about it. If soldier pills were so useful, and had such debilitating side effects from short-term useage, why weren't they common? He'd never even heard of them being used widely.

Iruka told him about the Akimichi, who made the pills, and the Inuzuka, who made a secondary form of soldier pill for non-human consumption. How both clans were surrounded by unpleasant stereotypes, and unfair judgements. The Akimichi for their weight. The Inuzuka for their animalistic nature. Some associated the pills with those issues, and were afraid to use them long term.

More importantly, he had explained, the pills were only of use in long drawn out fights. Which were only common on the battlefield. With no wars around to speak of, and only minor border skirmishes, the pills use was reduced to a nearly nonexistent level.

Of course, Naruto couldn't just disappear for a week without a word to his teammates. They found him on the fifth day, struggling to remember where his apartment was as he wandered through the wrong district. Fatigue had left him barely able to stand, and his clothes were torn and dirty from 17 hours of high intensity training. The most he had ever managed in one session.

It may not sound like much, but to Ninja, a high intensity work out was one guaranteed to wipe out an individual within an hour. Next to Naruto, only one other member of the village was capable of such prolonged exercise. Rock lee. The miniature green beast of the leaf village. Of course, Naruto was doing so with the aid of soldier pills, while Rock Lee pushed through on sheer bodily strength and stamina.

When his teammates found him, they were appalled. Kabuto rushed off to inform the Hokage, wrongfully assuming his teammate had been attacked. Sai carried him off to the hospital, ignoring Kabuto completely.

So while Naruto slept peacefully in a hospital bed, the Ninja forces of Konoha were mobilized to find him, and his mysterious attacker. Iruka, who had been sleeping when the alarm went off, stared down an ANBU operative to regain the slightest scrap of his stolen sleep. Eventually everything was explained, and Iruka joined Naruto in the sweet bliss of sleep.

The morning came too quickly. Naruto had to face an irate pair of teammates. Iruka, a pissed off band of concerned Ninja parents, wondering loudly why their precious children now wanted to spend so much time at school.

"Sai! Kabuto! Glad to see you guys!" His face brighter than it had been in days, Naruto surged out of bed and hugged them both. The pair broke the hug as quickly as possible, stepping away from the awkward physical contact. Both were glad to see Naruto okay, of course, but they were both immensely uncomfortable with sudden personal space invasions.

"Good to see you alive Naruto. When we found you, I thought you had been poisoned." Kabuto pushed his glasses up, staring at Naruto from behind the shimmering reflective lenses.

"I thought you were a zombie." Sai unhelpfully added with an accessory shrug.

"Glad to hear you care guys…" Naruto couldn't help the sarcasm in his voice. While his teammates were great people, and powerful Ninja in their own right, neither was naturally given to emotional outbursts. "I've just been training with Iruka-sensei! It was incredible! He showed me the coolest stuff! You guys gotta train with us sometime!"

He made the offer without thinking, but even as Naruto said it, he knew they would decline. Kabuto was too busy following Orochimaru-Sensei, one of the most powerful Ninja in all of Konoha and head of the Grass clans -pseudo clans not bound by blood ties who all practiced unique and exotic poisoning skills- a magnificent asset to Konoha who had taken an interest in Kabuto's Ninja career years ago when the boy first started following Orochimaru. Naruto was happy for him, few Ninja were given the chance to learn at the feet of masters at such a young age.

Sai would likely spend his time drawing. His sketches could fill a small art gallery, and already his art was branching out. Sai was determined to found his own clan, powered by his own Kekkai Genkai. While Naruto was certain the Ink techniques were just Techniques, and not Kekkai Genkai, the same could be said of the Yamanaka or Nara techniques.

"I'm sorry Naruto, but Orochimaru-sensei is giving a personal lesson in slow acting liver toxification. I can't spare the time."

"I wish I could Naruto. But I'm working on a piece right now- You can see it when it is done." Sai cut him off before Naruto could ask to see it. He always asked, and Sai always put it off. Today he could see the nervous energy rippling beneath Sai's emotionless face, and he knew the boy felt a breakthrough was imminent.

"I understand guys. Don't worry about it! I won't drag you down anymore." The self-sure smile on Naruto's face gave them both room for pause. Ever since their first team meeting, the two stoic boys had been rivals. Both had lofty dreams of glory and grandeur. Both were lethally skilled and gifted among their fellow classmates. Both were orphans, growing up alone. Isolated from family by misfortune, and from friends by choice. Their rivalry was silent, but tangible all the same. Now, however, a new player stood in their private shogi match. A curious and unknown power, were before had only been weakness and laziness.

Sai replied first, drawing his ink brush. "I look forward to it Naruto."

Kabuto pushed his glasses up, shining the sun off the reflective surface. "Yes. I do as well. There's something in you Naruto. Something that wasn't there before. You'll do interesting things I'm certain of it."

As they walked away, Naruto was left deep in thought. His teammates had acknowledged him for the first time, he should be overjoyed. Well, he was. But the joy was tempered by… the knowledge that it made sense. Rolling their words around in his mind, Naruto could understand why they did what they did. In the end, he chalked his growing analytical skills up to Iruka-sensei's hours of personal instruction.

Suddenly realizing the time, Naruto rushed to his training session, soon forgetting the conversation during the endless span of impossible exercise.

….….

All good things must come to an end. Another three days of training were all the two could manage. Then Iruka ran out of vacation days off from class, and Naruto's Jonin sensei returned from his mission.

"Alright gang! I know you've been on your own for a while, but I'm back, and everything's going to be great!" Rin Noharu was a positive and cheerful instructor. She had been an academy instructor for five years, and a med-nin for six. Now in her thirties, she was sweet and fiercely intelligent, always trying to moderate heated discussions… Or in her current teams case, encourage the same discussions.

Naruto had been close to her, before the incident with Rick Sanchez, and Iruka's training. After all that… He could see why she was their sensei. A Ninja who never made a name for herself was not Jonin sensei material. Jonin were meant to inspire their pupils with their mere legacy, hence why such legends as the hokages, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, and Tsunade had all taken students at one point or another. If there was a legendary shinobi in Konoha, he or she was pushed to take as many teams as possible. Non-legendary warriors were left to the unimportant details, especially combat related jobs. Non-legendary fighters never made it into the bingo books, and therefore opponents never knew what to expect.

Someone didn't expect anything from the team of orphans. So they were given another orphan to lead them. They were just dust to be swept under the rug.

Beyond that, Naruto could see that even Rin wasn't fond of her team. 'And why should she be?' He thought mockingly, 'We're a band of silent social rejects with no societal interactions and no interest in medical ninjutsu. She's trying to teach us skills she herself never needed. For fields she never liked.' Naruto felt an ache in his heart for the hardworking Medical nin, suddenly pushed aside because she didn't come from an important family.

Just like every other day that their team worked together, Sai went off into the woods to draw, and Kabuto set up a tiny paper screen to hide his experiments from the casual observer as he mixed poisons and studied his notes. Both boys were terrified of their innate genius being stolen, they'd never bring up a problem with their sensei, even if she could help.

Normally, Naruto would loose himself in combat training for a few hours. Punching and kicking the same boring log for hours on end until he could leave his anti-social teammates and over-encouraging sensei. She always tried to encourage his development of combat skills -she had no powerhouse jutsu to teach him after all- and Naruto was usually fine with that. He enjoyed the training, and enjoyed her praise slightly more.

Today was different though. He walked up to Rin the moment she sent her pupils to work on their separate projects. Her eyes were sad as he approached, but brightened considerably when he approached her.

"Yes Naruto? Can I help you with something?"

"Er…. yeah. I was working with Iruka-sensei while you were off on your mission. I was wondering if you signed us up for the Chunin exams next month?"

A week and a half ago, Naruto would have turned down a personalized invite to the Chunin exams from the Hokage himself. He was content in his skills, and felt leagues behind the other students from his own village.

Today's Naruto had definitely changed for the better. Last night he had spent three hours carving shuriken slots in the bottoms of his shoes. He felt ready for a challenge, to see how he compared to others his own age… including his own companions.

Rin was shocked. She simply nodded, feeling a small spark of excitement as her favorite pupil finally began to seriously apply himself. Sure she was his teacher, but there was only so much he could do. She wouldn't push him to go the extra mile if his heart wasn't really into it. Sometimes she looked back on her own childhood with a sigh, wishing people had been less pushy and more realistic.

Naruto smiled in response, and ran off towards Kabuto to share the good news… and something else. "Hey Kabuto! We're going to be in the Chunin exams!"

The bespectacled boy barely nodded in reply, not really caring about promotion… He still had so much to do to impress Orochimaru. So many poisons to brew, so many combinations to blend…

"You know Kabuto…" Naruto drawled off, already thinking along the proper lines. "If you were to win these exams, showing off with your poisons along the way… Orochimaru would have to take you as an apprentice."

Kabuto's head shot up. He gave Naruto a piercing glare that beckoned for an explanation.

"Well it's really simple, the way I see it. You finish these exams in first place, famous people from all over the elemental nations talking about 'Konoha's Great Poisoner', and suddenly you're seen as Orochimaru reborn! The master of poisons, back in a brand new generation! He's got poison you've never seen or heard of! Skills that no med-nin could counter! A legend and still in his teens! At that point, Orochimaru would probably pluck you right off the ground and declare you his apprentice. Right?"

Kabuto's mischevious mind was turning and turning. His blond teammate was usually such a loudmouth. But… Was he wrong? The logic followed rationally. It would be his chance to climb onto the same pedastol as the poison sage Orochimaru.

He shot back to his mixing with a new drive, determined to make something special for the event.

Naruto gave his friend a thumbs up, while heading into the woods to find Sai. He found the man, surrounded by ink creatures, while sketching out a massive forest still-life. A ten foot circle of scroll had already been painted, as Sai perfectly captured the surrounding region using nothing but chakra-laced ink. He had five feet left to go when Naruto interrupted, clearly this project had been in the works for days.

"So Sai! I don't want to interrupt, but we're going to be in the Chunin exams next month."

The artist ignored him, instead capturing the perfect detail of treebark onto his canvas.

"I know you probably aren't interested in a promotion or anything like that… But it just seems to me that an event like this is the best way to start a clan…"

Hook, line and sinker. The same talk as Kabuto, the same results. Sai turned to face Naruto now, saying a quiet, "Go on." His brush poised to continue.

"Well it's like this right? All those rich, important people watching. If some unknown clanless upstart were to defeat someone like… Sasuke Uchiha, the prince of the Uchiha clan… well they'd start requesting more and more missions, specifically from the boy with that amazing artistic kekkai genkai. So… Money and resources, sure. But also, all that attention is sure to attract the eye of an heiress, something that could easily launch your ninja career to legendary status."

"You make an excellent point Naruto. Now please excuse me, I have much to do before the exams." Sai returned to his drawing in a frenzied state, transcribing the beauty of nature so rapidly that his hands became a blur across the scroll.

Naruto walked back to the training area, smiling happily. It had been a very good day.

….…

The chunin exams were tomorrow. Naruto oddly, was not worried. A month of training showed promising results. He could now use soldier pills with no negative results. A single soldier pill would be more accurate to say, any Ninja who ate two in a row would not live long. His Jutsu repertoire remained woefully inadequate, nothing but the basics, and his taijutsu was full of weaknesses.

Anyone in a similar place would be terrified, likely considering quitting. But Naruto had never trained to become a taijutsu master, a ninjutsu master, or even a genjutsu master. His skills lay in the realm of the unorthodox. His punch could shatter tree limbs in a single blow. His kick split the bark like it was water. His kunai required an act of Kami just to miss. And he always always always kept hidden weapons on him.

The original two shuriken in his shoe had become four shuriken and a set of poisoned senbon per foot. A trio of Kunai lined his baggy sleeves, and rolls of letter bombs -plus a few other uniquely unpleasant items- were stashed inside of his baggy jacket. For the first time in his life, the bright orange jacket was tactically viable. A few times Naruto had considered getting rid of it. The orange was overly attention-grabbing and inevitably a risk.

Every time he considered the many many cons, and relatively few pros, before keeping the jacket anyways. It reminded him of his childhood. It reminded him of who he was. He just didn't feel the same without the glaringly dangerous remnant from his past. It was like him in a way, unorthodox in its use, non-traditional in every sense of the word, the kind of thing nobody would ever expect… Yet somehow it worked.

After a month of reinventing himself Naruto was secure in who he was, and his relationship with the other members of his team. He had never been happier.

Naruto paced outside the testing center, waiting on Kabuto and Sai. Ren had wished them all the best, asking only that they all survive. She didn't care if they were promoted, despite how certain she was of their newfound talents. Naruto's drive to improve had seeped into his comrades in unprecedented ways.

"Hey Naruto! Got a gift for you!" There was Kabuto, bristling with energy. Happier than Naruto had ever seen him, and decked out in an armies worth of deadly machinery. A rebreather covered his face, vaguely similar to the kind used by Kirigakure in their underwater fights. A pair of heavy canisters were strapped to his back, a pair of black tubes connected to each. Around his chest, a heavy armored vest protected his internal organs, the metal surface was shiny and slightly reflective. Topping off the outfit, his hip held a belt with several finger length canister like objects. A single senbon holster sat on his right pant leg, the needles within far thinner than any senbon.

The package Kabuto tossed him held a small brown sack of pale powder. "Any weapon with that on it will make a single scratch lethal."

Sai showed up seconds later, also giving his techniqueless teammate a gift. "Naruto." The rolled piece of parchment had a single Hawk diagram on the front. "Open it if you need a quick escape."

Sai had also gone through an outfit shift. Gone were the low-class clothes of a common Ninja. He'd taken Naruto's words to heart, and had dressed in his finest to impress the visiting nobles. A dark red Yukata flowed across his body, tied with a white-grey sash, each end of the sash hanging off his left and right thigh. A giant scroll was wrapped within the flowing sash on either side. The forehead protector was gone, his hair instead done up in a traditional noble house bun. The emblem of the leaf was painstakingly stitched onto the front of his sash in black thread. Inside each sleeve he held a sealed ink well, a set of brushes sealed in the correct order, and a handful of scrolls sealed within the sleeves of his Yukata.

Yes, all three of them were well prepared to do battle with their enemies for fame and fortune in the Chunin exams.

Then a familiar green portal opened, and Naruto copies began spilling out in an endless swarm. Some of them were vaguely human, others were closer to animals than people. Every one of them had a glassy look to their eyes. Most were distinctly different from the original Naruto, some were only slightly off, and a select few could stand next to the original without anyone able to tell the difference.

A Naruto with reptilian eyes and pale green skin began tearing through building and human alike, its long claw fingers gouging through even the sharpest swords like they weren't even there. Another alternate universe Naruto surged out of the portal, its skin and organs a seething mass of rubbery blue liquid. Its fingers blurred, and a fire technique the size of the hokage monument tore through the village.

The ANBU marshalled to defend, but the monstrous Naruto's leading the charge were skilled combatants. They cut through the elite of Konoha, stopping only when a true legendary fighter stood in their path. When Orochimaru's Grass clan reached the battlefield, the tide of war froze for a split second. Then the next wave of Naruto's poured through, this one full of full-human Naruto's, more powerful by far than the mindless killing machines of the first wave.

The Lizard-Naruto fell to Orochimaru's Kusarigama, and the blue amorphous humanoid was subdued by the sealing techniques of the ANBU. But where those two fell hundreds took their places. Each with special skills and abilities that made fighting them almost impossible. One Naruto with shades over his eyes and a long black trench coat, simple spat on a passing ANBU, stepping around the soldier as the spit exploded in a rapidly expanding ball of fire.

A Naruto with skin that looked and felt like ink quickly teleported across the battlefield, killing effortlessly with a rapier that slid through armor with ease.

A dozen Naruto's crawled through the portal, their skin glowing with bubbly red chakra. Single tails had already formed behind them.

Still more came.

Then came a brief lull in the portal. A Naruto stepped out with the familiar foxy face scars, but his hair was spiky and grey, with a growing bald spot on top of his head. His lips were locked in a permanent sneer, and he scanned the village with eyes that seemed to look through everything. Behind him, a naked old man was held by a simple metal leash, its links wrapped in jagged barbs that tore at his throat again and again.

This old man, hunched over in pain, skinny from malnutrition, and covered in injuries, was still someone the original Naruto would recognize quite easily. Rick Sanchez. Rick Sanchez of universe C137.

In the hands of the grey haired Naruto, he held a small gun-shaped device with a glowing green tube on top. His eyes finished scanning the city, and he lazily gestured his servants. "Kill Everything. But bring me the boy."

So that was fun to write! Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Now, if there is anything you feel i should add, or even a plot arc for the future, give me a shout in the comments below. I'm more than happy to include almost anything if i can work it into the plot. Romance and Lemons may come later, for now though Naruto is struggling to protect his life/home.


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